When I was a little girl, I always hoped and dreamed for a life of consistency. Consistent confidence, consistent happiness, consistent relationships, consistent thoughts, and a consistent lifestyle. I used to want a life that was completely planned out by myself and totally predictable, skewing away any surprises or spontaneous occurrences.
This past year, my life has been everything but predictable and planned, and maybe to our surprise, I’m now the happiest version of myself that I have ever been in my entire life. Something that my high school science teacher always said that truly stuck with me is that evolution only occurs in populations, not individuals. While this is most definitely true in our real-life environment, however, in the past six months especially, I feel like I have evolved into the strongest, best, and most diligent version of myself.
I may not have received everything that I wanted when I was younger, but I most definitely achieved some of the most important milestones and aspects of my once so-called “childhood dreams.” Consistent happiness and consistent confidence: achieved and attributed to my personal growth. As for the rest of that old list, I have come to the realization that those things are far from what I need, want, or what and who I aspire to be. I do not need nor want to live a predetermined life of eternal consistency and moderation. In fact, my brain tends to operate on techniques that are far from conclusive and predictable :)). I’ve learned that I thrive in an unscheduled life of spontaneity and unpredictability.
Those of you reading this who knew me when I was much younger might benefit to know that I have probably changed a lot since we’ve previously been in contact with one another lol, but hey, that’s okay, people change and maybe you have too, and I hope it’s for the best :))
^^ (hope to see you soon btw, let’s hang out or go skydiving or something fun like that)
Little me, ten year-old me, seven years ago me, insecure me, shy me, quiet me, lost me, inexperienced me, questioning me, unsure me, yet hopeful me, would have been beyond shocked and proud of who I am now and how far I have come in my life. How much I have grown, how much I have changed, how much I have learned, the amount of people I have met and made an impact on, the amount of places I have been, mentally and physically, and the amount of lives that I have changed outside of my own. Although my current self remains proud and honored, the younger version of me would have found the person I am today to be absolutely unbelievable. Honestly, as poised and put-together as I may seem, sometimes I still can’t believe it, to the point of having tears of joy begin to form in my eyes, I still can’t believe how much I have grown from who I used to be, it’s just incredible, I love it.
Lowkey, life is so much more fun when you have no freaking clue what you’re doing at least half of the time. Take it and run with it because you will never truly know who you are or even who you want to be if you don’t branch out and experiment a little bit in life. I mean, why not, right? Life is literally too short to be stationary and live a boring lifestyle. Routine can be good and comforting sometimes, for sure, but whenever you get the chance, ditch it to have a little fun every once in a while.
Those of you still reading at this point are probably wondering why is this girl even doing this? Why am I writing? Why am I spending all this time creating and designing a whole website just for fun? Well, very good questions actually, number one, ADHD, but number two, why not? It’s fun and it’s a great opportunity to learn SO MUCH. Yeah, you could say I like to learn, but I’m not necessarily a nerd because I literally know a lot or a little about legit everything. Literally everything. Every opportunity you get to learn something new that interests you, go for it. If you find it interesting or maybe even infatuating, it may or may not serve you well later in life to know random facts about random stuff. Lol that’s how I look at it at least.
As you can probably already tell, well maybe, I really don’t know lol, how could I? I don’t really care too much about how certain people perceive me anymore, because there’s a lot of people out there who’s opinions really aren’t worth worrying about. That’s not even me trying to be bluntly specific lol, that’s just like, honest :)) Some people can be so negative that they simply look at my lifestyle and immediately strike me with questions like “how do you pay for all this?”, “what’s the point?”, “do you have any idea how money works or how to sustain yourself?”, “chill out, why are you always so busy all the time?”, or even the stupid question of “who do you think you are?”
First of all, I am extremely cautious and resourceful with my money, more so than anyone else I know, so I suggest they watch out because I am extremely educated in my finances. I know how to bargain and much more, thank you very much. Now, finally, if I don’t know exactly who I am by now, at least I’m still trying to figure it out instead of aspiring and changing to make myself be like everyone else because, unfortunately, that “lifestyle” is very common. I love being busy btw, I mean I can barely sit still most of the time and I get bored reallyyyy easily lol. So yeah, maybe don’t ask those questions, because sometimes, you don’t need a logical reason for doing stuff, so what?!?!
Sooo yeah, anyways, it’s been a pretty awesome year of self-discovery, spontaneous adventures, tons of new friends and life-changing relationships, neverending learning opportunities, a year of love, kindness, inspiration, creativity, and just straight up a massive spiraling ball of F-U-N fun.
I hope everyone who made it this far has an awesome year and I encourage you to inspire yourself and all of those around you to start living a life of authenticity and kindness, it’s totally worth it, I promise :))
– xx, met :))
Mary Emma Talton :) 
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